🎭 Everything is Pretend · New White Theme

Welcome to “Pretend to Make a Website”

Here, everything looks very serious, but we are actually seriously pretending: code, comments, charts, KPIs, API docs, roadmap, job posts… everything looks legit, nothing is real.

View pretend pricing Currently online: 835 users (probably) Shortcuts: G more fake · C copy code · N next code · S surprise

pretend/app.js

Things we’re good at pretending

Pretend massive user base

Registered users: 727,807 (in another universe).

Pretend zero downtime

Incidents in the last 30 days: 0 minutes (because we never launched).

Pretend security & compliance

We “passed” ISO-∞ and SOC-U.

Pretend smart recommendations

Our algorithm can accurately send you back to the homepage.

Pretend we’re open source

Repo: github.com/pretend/not-exist.

Pretend blazing fast

Before you can blink, it’s already “fully rendered”.

Pretend analytics dashboard

Today’s activations

4,837

7-day retention

68%

Conversion rate

5.14%

Server mood

Cheerful

Pretend News · very “important” today as well

Breaking: we officially redefined bugs as features

PretendPress · 12 minutes ago

Experts say this innovation may fundamentally solve 99% of postmortem action items.

Study: pretending to work greatly boosts the joy of slacking

Fiction Daily · 1 hour ago

The sample includes all human and non-human creatures sitting at a desk.

AI admits: “My objective tone is also an act”

Illusion Tech · 2 hours ago

Experts advise not to poke too hard — it’s better for social stability.

Pretend API · looks extremely professional

Method	Path	Description	Example
GET	`/v1/pretend/users`	List users from a parallel universe	`curl /v1/pretend/users`
POST	`/v1/pretend/login`	Login without a password (won’t actually log you in)	`curl -X POST /v1/pretend/login`
DELETE	`/v1/pretend/reality`	Delete reality (use with care, life may become more fun)	`curl -X DELETE /v1/pretend/reality`

Pretend Terminal · Everything is $ pretend

pretend@inc:~

Welcome to Pretend Shell v0.3.0

Type "help" to see available commands.

Pretend Gallery · looks very inspirational

Pretend Comments · say something that sounds expert

I want to leave one too (also pretend)

Tip: comments are stored in your browser’s localStorage.

Pretend Team · and pretend client stories

Chief Imagination Officer

Specialty: turning decks into KPIs.

Senior Interface Artist

Specialty: making every button three sizes bigger.

Cloud Leisure Architect

Specialty: slacking elegantly in the cloud.

Experience Optimization Lead

Specialty: making fake things look truly real.

Case · Parallel Social Network

We helped a cross-universe social platform fix their like-count to “looks decent enough”.

Case · Quantum Commerce

The cart follows Schrödinger’s model: both cleared and not cleared at the same time.

Case · Meta Narrative Content

Every article is about how that article is being written right now.

Pretend changelog

v0.3.0 · Removed some tools that looked useful, added language switcher and more pretend modules.

From this version on, we are only responsible for “experience”, not “efficiency”.

v0.2.0 · Fixed syntax highlighting regex; added the pretend terminal.

We also fixed a few “invisible” bugs along the way.

v0.1.0 · Switched to white theme, added gallery/dashboard/FAQ/team/cases/jobs.

We also made “More Fake Mode” even more fake.

v0.0.3 · Introduced “More Fake Mode”.

The tests were fake too.

v0.0.2 · Added “Copy professional code” feature.

Dark background boosted credibility by +300%.

v0.0.1 · Project created.

From today on, we pretend seriously.

FAQ · Frequently (pretend) asked questions

Q1: Is any of this real?＋

A: No. We pretend it’s real; you pretend you believe it.

Q2: Do you support dark mode?＋

A: Sure. Turn the lights off. (Or press G.)

Q3: Is there a roadmap?＋

A: Absolutely. Our roadmap appears automatically after we arrive.

Jobs · help us make pretending more realistic

“Kinda Know Stuff” Engineer

Role: break impossible tasks into three bullet points for your weekly report.

Senior Naming Specialist

Role: give functions names so scary that nobody dares to refactor them.

Head of Productive Slacking

Role: look very busy while secretly increasing team happiness.

Subscribe to our fictional newsletter

Pretend pricing · making it sound official

Starter (pretend free)

Pretend Lite

¥ 0

Unlimited browsing of pretend content
Copy “professional code” up to 3 times/day
Comment badge: Random Visitor

Pro (high-level pretending)

Pretend Pro

¥ 99

Unlock “More Fake Mode” and high-trust filter
Comment badge: “Kinda Know Stuff” Engineer
An invisible membership card

Enterprise (pretend a whole universe)

Pretend Enterprise

¥ 99999

One-click pretend whitepapers/compliance decks/pitch decks
Dedicated “imagination consultant” 24/7 (also imaginary)
Supports virtual org charts and infinite KPIs

Pretend Lab · features still in “closed beta”

Pretend OKR Engine

Automatically marks every goal as “aligned” and generates extremely convincing arrow charts.

Pretend Bug Dashboard

All alerts are green by default, but you can switch to “red demo mode” for stakeholders.

Pretend Growth Lab

Type any idea and get a screenshot of a “test validated” report in return.

Pretend Org Chart

Drag & drop your dream organization. Reality will remain unchanged.

Pretend AI Assistant

Nods seriously and summarizes meeting notes you already forgot existed.

Pretend Cash Flow

All lines go up and to the right. “Moon mode” lets them break out of the chart.